On Letting Go

I had a very well though out blog post about to go up here. Halfway through typing it and feeling sad and sorry for myself, I accidentally deleted it. I get it. Yes. I get it. Let it go. Just let it go. Nothing is forever, the only constant is change. Those that matter will be here, those other folks and the crossing of paths was meant just for that time. So be it.  I was laying in bed last night trying to think about what my lesson at Squid was. What was the point of me being there and what was it I was supposed to learn. It all came to me in a rush, and now I'm processing. I was meant to be there to meet some amazing people, but also understand my true strength and power,  learn patience and kindness. Take nothing personally as everyone has their own journey and battles. Stand strong for what you know to be right. Do it all with a dose of laughter and understanding. Don't give it all away,. I'm learning. Thanks to all the teachers I have had.

Twenty One-Fool's Lesson

I write this twenty-one days before we depart. Twenty-One is the number of the Fool in Tarot [or Zero-into the void]. Twenty One, symbol of the person centered on the object and either on himself.

Twenty one days until I answer the siren call of the West.

Growing up I was obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder. I mean OBSESSED. I read and re read those books until they were broken and tattered, smeared with dirty fingerprints. I used to climb up into the Magnolia tree in my Grandparents back yard and read among the birds and leaves, wishing I could be Laura.

The boy and I like modern day pioneers, loading our wagon with precious few possessions for the long journey out west, trailing through the areas of our ancestors. We are deliberately taking the route North then West so I may release the dirt from my Grandfathers grave to mingle with the dirt of his Fathers grave on the Iron Range.

Joe is also taking some of his Father with us since he always wanted to live out West, but left this earth before he had the chance. The plan is to walk the mountains with his ashes until a spot calls out and we respond with a prayer, blessing, and releasing. 

I find the older that I get, the more I become the keeper of my family. I keep the traditions, the stories, the superstitions and the prayers. I find that I identify more with the old spirits and the old ways. I feel that this move is the culmination of the lessons wrought by home, time, and family mingling with the void of releasing.

Six Weeks

In six weeks, Joe and I are heading out for Portland. I am having a litany of emotions. One day I'm elated and cant wait to get the F*** out of here, other days I'm panicky with all that needs to be done and leaving behind the familiarity that is Chicago. This is a big life change in a series of big life changes over the past few years. During the past three years that Joe and I have been together the following has happened:
*Got Engaged
* Put kittie to sleep
*Dad was deported back to Costa Rica (even though he is a naturalized American Citizen, married to an american citizen for almost 20 years, and has lived here since he was 5-God bless the patriot act)
* Got married (second time for both of us)
* Dad was able to re enter the country, but this is still a battle that our family is fighting
*moved twice
* Joes dad died unexpectedly three days before Christmas
* Joes first time out of the country
* I got a new job at Colossal Squid
* Started Yoga Work Study
* moved third time-up to Evanston
* Joe crashed his bike slid across three lanes of traffic- ER trip
* Went to San Francisco
*Leslie and Tyler moved to PDX

Yeah, its a lot of stuff to have happen when you are newly dating/married. I just figure that we are stronger for it and once we get out there we can have a jump start on having a much more chill couple of years.

Jonah.

                                                       [Jonah and Miranda]

Today, Joe and I are up early cleaning and organizing the house for our departure. We will also be heading over to Jonah's place to help him ship his possessions half way across the country and say goodbye for now.

I first met Jonah when I started at Colossal Squid Industries. It was pretty much him and I figuring out how to organize, operate, and keep the place running as Squid was growing by leaps and bounds. He quickly became one of my closest friends and for this I am grateful.

 During the two years that I have known him he has always provided laughter, great advice, and excellent company. Jonah is off to PDX and I can vouch that the town will be all the more better upon his arrival.

As this week has been very weird without a daily dose of Jonah Gruber at Squid, I am happy to know that he is going and conquering. I have come to expect amazing things from him. Sir, I look forward to the upcoming adventures in Portland, until then adieu.

St. Petronilla

St. Petronilla is the Patron Saint of Mountain Travelers.

I have been away for more than a year. I blame lack of initiative and an overwhelmingly awful 2010. I am past this now and plan for this to be a regularly updated place. The next six weeks are going to be insanely busy due to the boy and I moving out to PDX.
WHAT?! Jenn and Joe leave Chicago, their home and hearth? Natives (particularly South Siders) never ever leave Chicago.

Well folks, we are out of here. Chicago, the home of bungalows, extreme political corruption, and our family graves just no longer feels like our home. Perhaps its the influx of other Mid-westerners who bring their bad driving and "bro" culture. Partly because of the Matriarchs and Patriarchs that ruled both of our working class, Union centric families have passed. Mostly because we have both promised ourselves that while we love our parents, aunts, uncles and large crazy families we really don't want to end up being just like them.

So we are packing up our little Mazda putting our little family out on the road and heading to rainy 50+ degree weather. I am very much looking forward to reconnecting with our extended 'family' out in Portland, and really letting go of all things that no longer serve me. When we told my parents they both just looked at us and said " I feel like you guys are getting out of prison. Good for you!" The boys parents said we were "delivering a dagger straight to the heart." I think I feel pretty much smack in the middle of both of those statements. Ohh the guilt of the Irish Catholics.


I have battled back and forth with joining Facebook and alas, just can't bring myself to do it. I will be on here regularly to keep up with the ones I love, so please stop by to see what we are getting ourselves into. Currently, I have the day off of work and am facing a mound of purging, packing, and a sense of peace coupled with the need for long deep breaths.

What's Going on

I really need to be better about updating this thing. Seriously. I now have more time, well somewhat more time than I did before. I quite C-K two weeks ago and it has been the best decision of my life. That place was a time/life/soul suck. Bad, bad, bad juju. So now my days are spent working three days a week at a creative shop, doing a Work-Study at Yoga Now, studying to re certify my NCTMB license, and generally regaining my life back. Its a good balance. I remember what its like to be 'me', as in doing things because I enjoy them not because I have too. My birthday is fast approaching and with it a lot of new lessons learned this year. First lesson. Being true to yourself is way more important than worrying about how people view you or what they say about you. Ethics, people. Very important. The whole idea of putting away childish things, second lesson. I don't need excessive amounts of booze or acquaintances, I only need those that I count as true friends. Third. Compassion, kindness, grounded behavior, will help you weather any storm and the ability to focus your energy and believe in what you are passionate about is important and DOES MATTER. Fourth, being in a shadow is no way to be. As in stand in your own light, all goes back to number three, that if its important to you than it matters. end.of.story. So this month of December is filled with vegan potlucks, numerous birthday celebrations, compassion, love, and celebrating. I am very optimistic about the end of '09 and the upcoming New Year. J'Taime.

I'm Back

So, it has been a crazy summer, what with inclement weather, adjustments to married life, new friends and old leaving and entering my life at an alarming rate. Now that we are at the end of summer and road season, its time for me to get back on the proverbial horse and start doing my Sunday dinner blog. I thought we would start the week off right, with an old standby in this household. I was able to make this recipe due to an unexpected gift from Les and Ty, and their abundant CSA box. They had a plethora of beets so, being the lovely people that they are, they passed on a nice bag that included those delicious beets on top of some other very lovely vegetables that will grace our table this week. Thanks to both of you and your generosity! This Sunday dinner blog the feature is my "Sweet beetin' bean burritos with mango pineapple salsa" (or kumquat if they are in season)! Really, this is a super simple recipe, full of delicious veggie goodness, and Joe cant help but eat at least three of these in one sitting. here is the recipe:
2 small to medium size beets (with tops) and sweet potatoes, diced
1 15 oz can black beans rinsed and drained
1/4 red onion, cut into strips
1 poblano pepper, cut into strips
1/2 tbsp cumin
2 tbs olive oil
sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
Directions: preheat oven to 450 degrees take diced beets (remember to save the tops) and the sweet potato and put into casserole dish place 1 tbs olive oil into pan along with cumin, salt and pepper. toss until coated and place in oven. Remember to stir occasionally.

while veggies are roasting you can make your salsa

Pineapple mango salsa:
1 cup finely diced pineapple
1 large ripe mango peeled, finely diced
1/4 cup diced red onion
1 jalepeno finely diced (more or less to taste)
1 tbs Cilantro (optional) 1/2 lime zested and juiced
salt to taste
combine all ingredients in large bowl and place in fridge so flavors can combine
Kumquat variation: Omitt pineapple, add 10-15 fresh kumquats thinly sliced into rounds
After Salsa is finished, start the bean mixture
heat skillet on medium heat add olive oil
saute poblano and red onion until soft and translucent
add the can of beans and chopped beet greens, stirring to incorporate
place lid on skillet and turn heat to low, stir every couple of minutes so mixture doesnt burn.

after 5 minutes remove from heat and let sit, while you remove beet and sweet potato mixture from the oven.

to assemble:
take burrito shell (we love ezekial brand sprouted wheat tortillas-not gluten free) heat in oven for 30 seconds to soften
place spoonful of beet mixture and spread in a horizontal line (left to right) near the bottom middle of your shell next add bean mixture right next to the beets fold sides over and bottom and start rolling cut in half and serve with salsa and a salad or guacamole and chips.
To make GF version, I opt for a burrito bowl idea sometimes adding Follow your Heart vegan cheese that I shred on top. Enjoy!